Aftermath Unwritten

Original written August 25, 2005

through the gray clouds tonight i'm driving. wondering where you are. are you thinking of me too. or is that only in my mind. when we're together we're so far apart. yet when we're apart you are always near me. like a ghost haunting my path, i turn yet you're no where to be seen. maybe its okay that i can't see. what would i do if i really knew me. these dark clouds are pulling me in, they hold such a sadness until you come around. as we wander through the night without a sound, i know your still here because i can't let you go. because if i do i'm afraid you will forget me too. i wish there was a rainbow at the end of this path, im sure there is but only you can see that. i long for you to hold me though you never truly can. we run so far from what we can see, searching for so much more. hold my hand and lead me down this path. i am willing but unsure of your plans. do you see me as i think you can? im lost in this fog, with no where to go. thats the thing about us.. we don't like to show. because we fear that they don't really care, though were with others we're not really there. so maybe that means that were meant to be more than we pretend we can see. when you just jump into the unknown doesnt it take more? i dont feel i know you, yet i understand your soul. maybe because it's like mine or maybe i just think i should know. know what you mean by the way you nod your head and say were okay. but is there anything in this friendship that should make me feel it must be more than this. do i confuse you or do you comprehend? i want to make it more but im scared to let you in. i think we both fear that the other doesnt but i think we both know, somewhere in our soul. that this is something that we should go for. but as time has told, hearts crumble and break, and always seem to take and take. so one of us must, jump into thin air, the only question now is will you be there? im afraid that im running to fast, that im leaving you behind with nothing to grasp. because this is new and hard to understand. its risky for me to try and take your hand. but i think i might, ive found something tonight. so please if you will, just hold on to what we have, dont let me forget because thats when it all goes bad. and as we both know, this life can quickly become a show. so lets just lay back so no one will know. our adventures are too exciting for us to just let go. so if i am reading this book upside down, lets not forget where we started from. you are so much more than meets the eye. i am so glad you have let me inside, if i must leave i know i must go. but if you let me, i'll gladly hold on. were so much alike, too much maybe.... but where that may lead us may be more than we could ever begin to imagine. you light up my days through your simple manner. you are all i have wanted, yet still i'm not sure.. sure if i really should make this into more.

tipsy

i'm stumbling on my words. if only you knew how much it hurts. poured my heart out, but they all keep slipping. slipping on the wet glass, they think it is simple to know all i feel, but they can't see that none of it is real. blurred pieces blend together, when the light hits they are all a scatter. but somehow, by the way they meet up, it always seems to be just enough. enough to get me by, so by the time they notice i have already passed by.

beautiful songbird

*Song I wrote a few weeks ago

taught you how it all began
when i reached out and took your hand
and there was never any coldness, never any fear
and in a flashing moment our hearts were so near

said we'd never slip away
promised that with each new day
and days will come and memories will pass
but this love we swore was always gonna last

cause people touch your heart
they circle round the frame
but once they touch your heart
you'll never ever be the same

when you're crying in the moonlight
or singing to the breeze
your always with me
and thats how it'll always be

white dove flies out the window
im fallin to my knees
i wonder if its alright
that you are who i need

cause when i taught you how to love
trampled through the storm
wripped apart the pieces
under which you were
peeled away the masks
and set your colors free
i thought that meant that you and i would always always be

and as we wander on this journey
never quite contempt
will it ever hit us
what this all has meant

we run away from feelings
hide between the lines
that door that once was open
is closing with each moment of time

im still here
and your so far
you're so near
but im running out of time

cry out in the night
where do i go
everything is missing now
everything i know
life is changing quickly
im not sure how to stand
i wish you were still by my side
here to take my hand

cause thats where it all began
on a summer's night so clear
when in a flashing moment
our hearts knew love was here
and love cannot be broken
love will not be torn
and somewhere down this broken road
we will find comfort
in knowing the truth
that all that weve been through
was for something wonderful
theres something new
and only time now
can teach us what to do

so we'll be patient
and wait for that time
when your heart is beating
to the rhythm of mine
we know it can happen
seen it before
that same closeknit feeling that started before

when you reached out your hand
and took mine in yours
said that you'd be there like no one before
no one before

cause i reached out my hand
and held on so tight
and now forever and ever
forever and ever
no matter what the distance
no matter what the fight
no matter our circumstances
our hearts always fit tight
fit tight
and no matter the reason
no matter the time
ill always reach out my hand
and take yours in mine

Alone Again

Do you ever feel so alone?
Where words crumble without breath for existence.
The time escapes quickly.
Tear stained letters, shriveling flowers
Send an aura of love now vanished
Would the morning sun rise if none were there to greet her?
Would the blue of the sky fade away or become outdated?
Emptiness hits as the dust finally settles
Broken air is once again hardened
The stillness brought on by the distance of heart
Woven together
My thoughts and my fears
The road is gray as the wheels roll along
Window down, air curls inside
The weight of the wind threatens all life
As i lower my head
At the end of this day
Emptiness hits as the truth finally settles
Broken hearts are once again hardened
The aloneness brought on by the distance of spirit.