why

why is it that when the sun finally decides to come-
all i want to do is run? i finally have a chance to
flee to the light, but for some reason i'm still here,
wanting to fight. i know how to be free, but instead i
just want to sit here and make everyone pity me. is it
really that selfish though to be "not okay"? and why
did things have to turn out the way they did today?
what if i dont want to be happy any more? what if i
dont care any more? what if it was all okay?...