Hidden By Bleeding Colors

black then white then gray, then white then black then
gray, then grey, and gray, and grey. it all seems to
be okay by colors painted on the outside to take away
the pain. youve taken away my colors and think you can
see me, black then white, yet you cant see the gray.
to you it is one way or the other, right or wrong, yes
or no, stay or leave, but not in the middle. my blurry
life is falling to pieces. i can no longer see by the
tears fogging my vision. tears that make it all seem
gray. im blind but can see, thats one, but not the
other side of me. my flame inside has somehow burned
away. all they ever seem to do is take and take and
complain. all making broken promises and expecting me
to believe. i do believe, and come along, but am
always left here to bleed. left at the end of a hard
times struggle. giving away all that i have so as to
satisy another. is that all i am for? to hold on to
their hearts as they wait for more. thinking i am it,
letting me believe i am, and then leaving me here,
once again, to bleed. gray then red then black then
red. what an exciting circle. you dont understand how
sick you will be as you complete the ride. it all
seems like a ride, a love, a song, a wonderful thing
that can never go wrong. but then it goes wrong. and
here i am still lying here to bleed. whats left of me
spread thin across the pavement. until someone new
comes along to pick up the pieces, but not all of the
pieces are here anymore, they have been lost along the
way. never truly made up until i complete this game. a
young tender soul yearning to just be free, free from
the anxiety of this world, free from mostly me. no
matter how far i run everything will always come
undone. its a part that cant be changed, an untrue
fantasy needed to be believed. fantasy is so much
better when you are young.  but am i not young? and if
i am so young, why am i bleeding from more than
skinned knees. red then red then red then black.